On Writing: Growth Through Resistance

I have a confession to make. I hate writing. It scares the shit out of me. Since I started this blog a four years ago, I’ve had hundreds of ideas but they’ve remained stuck in my head. When I finally muster up the courage to start writing and I commit to a post, I tend to over analyze every word, every sentence, every paragraph. I always know what I want to write but the words don’t flow easily. Every post seems to take hours. The voice in my head is always doubting and questioning. What will people think of me? What if I’m wrong? What if my grammar is incorrect? Who will disagree with me? What if I offend someone? Who is actually going to read this? The simple act of writing comes naturally and is liberating for others but it’s paralyzing for me. That sucks. It feels awful. I’m sick and tired of holding myself back and giving in to the voice in my head.

After some reflection over the last few weeks, I’ve decided that being open honest with myself and facing my anxieties will eventually lead to greater fulfillment and personal growth. For many years, I’ve used my phobia of writing as an excuse not to share my thoughts with others. This negative mindset has admittedly weighed me down with inaction, anxiety and self doubt. If I don’t fight this perceived weakness and face it head on, I’ll never be able to grow personally, improve as a writer and share my ideas with family, friends, colleagues and strangers. What a shame that would be. Those days are over starting right now. I’m making a commitment to myself to start writing more frequently. I’m finished caring what people think. I’m finished worrying about perfect grammar. I’m finished comparing my writing to others. I’m finished holding myself back. I want to grow. I want to share my ideas. I want to learn. I want to write from the heart. I want this for myself.