A really instructive tale and a relatable one for probably any male over a certain vintage. Lots came up for me as I read your words. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this! It's always so fascinating to understand the ways that we humans take on our limiting beliefs, triggers, and traumas, and how hidden in plain sight they can be. Appreciate you sharing something so personal.
Very touching and powerful story Steve. Sorry this happened and changed your relationship to the sport and others. Coaches like that really think it was ok to use violence as a way of teaching. I'm sure others who witnessed this were just as impacted, although differently.
The only other thought I had tho and went back to re-read to confirm. Maybe you left this out, but it didn't seem like your instructor took any responsibility and ownership for missing classes. I think accountability still exists. And while true, that you had this deeper story, and you felt below the line and very angry, it struck me as a tad insensitive, for the instructor to throw something like that casually out there. I can imagine someone in the same class, not having this backstory but being equally irate about their investment. Hmm.
What a stirring, moving, powerful, vulnerable post. Definitely brought back memories of trauma from collisions with figures that were supposed to help. Thanks for sharing, Steve, as always.
This was such an impactful read, as a Mom of 2 boys and a woman in a strained marriage. Toxic masculinity damages us all. Thank you for doing your work and sharing it with us. I especially appreciate the elucidation of the mature masculine: integrity, wisdom, emotional depth, responsibility, protection, strength and service.
Beautiful, heart-moving share, Steven. And such a powerful illustration of the stories that make us and our capacity to rewrite ourselves in the remembering and telling. Thank you.
This bit was close to home for me, though different events and not the exact same response: “Instinctively, I pushed away those feelings, burying not only the emotions but also the events of that afternoon. They lay dormant, tucked away in the shadowy recesses of my mind for years. It’s unsurprising that my suppression sowed the seeds of this unconscious pattern, of distrust and distancing ...” ... I am sorry it’s impacted you so long, Steve, and I hope realizing it can help you to heal.
This is an interesting essay. Do you know any older women? And why are the characteristics you mention - integrity, wisdom, emotional depth, responsibility, protection, strength, and service - associated with older men in your mind, when often they are exhibited by older women? In fact, you might have portrayed the profile of many older women, without realizing it.
A really instructive tale and a relatable one for probably any male over a certain vintage. Lots came up for me as I read your words. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this! It's always so fascinating to understand the ways that we humans take on our limiting beliefs, triggers, and traumas, and how hidden in plain sight they can be. Appreciate you sharing something so personal.
Very touching and powerful story Steve. Sorry this happened and changed your relationship to the sport and others. Coaches like that really think it was ok to use violence as a way of teaching. I'm sure others who witnessed this were just as impacted, although differently.
The only other thought I had tho and went back to re-read to confirm. Maybe you left this out, but it didn't seem like your instructor took any responsibility and ownership for missing classes. I think accountability still exists. And while true, that you had this deeper story, and you felt below the line and very angry, it struck me as a tad insensitive, for the instructor to throw something like that casually out there. I can imagine someone in the same class, not having this backstory but being equally irate about their investment. Hmm.
What a stirring, moving, powerful, vulnerable post. Definitely brought back memories of trauma from collisions with figures that were supposed to help. Thanks for sharing, Steve, as always.
This was such an impactful read, as a Mom of 2 boys and a woman in a strained marriage. Toxic masculinity damages us all. Thank you for doing your work and sharing it with us. I especially appreciate the elucidation of the mature masculine: integrity, wisdom, emotional depth, responsibility, protection, strength and service.
Beautiful, heart-moving share, Steven. And such a powerful illustration of the stories that make us and our capacity to rewrite ourselves in the remembering and telling. Thank you.
This bit was close to home for me, though different events and not the exact same response: “Instinctively, I pushed away those feelings, burying not only the emotions but also the events of that afternoon. They lay dormant, tucked away in the shadowy recesses of my mind for years. It’s unsurprising that my suppression sowed the seeds of this unconscious pattern, of distrust and distancing ...” ... I am sorry it’s impacted you so long, Steve, and I hope realizing it can help you to heal.
Thank you for doing your deep work and vulnerably sharing it with others Steve. I am glad to know this story about you.
This is an interesting essay. Do you know any older women? And why are the characteristics you mention - integrity, wisdom, emotional depth, responsibility, protection, strength, and service - associated with older men in your mind, when often they are exhibited by older women? In fact, you might have portrayed the profile of many older women, without realizing it.