Everyone Can Downshift

How the smallest practice can lead to a bigger life

Sep 13, 2024

This week’s essay is about the power of slowing down to build a bigger, more intentional life. If you’re ready to embrace self-awareness, community, and meaningful transformation, Downshift is accepting applications for our fall decelerator program!

This nine-week journey, crafted for high performers in transition, kicks off with a three-day retreat in the Catskills on October 15th. You'll explore how to slow down, reflect on your path, and eventually upshift with intention and purpose—all in the company of fellow Downshifters. The retreat will be followed by weekly group meetings, guest lectures, group coaching, readings, and exercises—all designed to help you integrate your learnings and support your transformation.

Applications close on Monday, September 30th. If you're curious and want to learn more, join us today at 12 p.m. ET to hear stories from alumni of our Spring '24 cohort.

Whether you're going through a major transition or simply seeking a more balanced way to live, this essay focuses on small, everyday practices can help you cultivate deeper connections with yourself and others, while fostering a more intentional, fulfilling, and expansive life.

“We are an anthology of the practices we’ve been engaged in over a lifetime. If we practice something long enough we become that practice. We transform and evolve through practices. Our bodies reflect what we practice. We are what we practice.”
—Richard Strozzi-Heckler, The Art of Somatic Coaching

My new client sat across from me, exhaustion visible in every line of his face. A Managing Director at a large asset management firm, he was facing upheavals both within his company and across his portfolio. His pale skin and the dark bags under his eyes told the story of sleepless nights and relentless pressure. He took a long, slow breath, his voice strained with fatigue.

"I spent half our vacation holed up in the lodge on calls, staring at my laptop while my family was out on the slopes, and the other half glued to my phone, scrolling through emails instead of enjoying the moment. The guilt and stress made me feel physically sick."

He paused, lowering his gaze. "I’m successful… but I’m running on autopilot. I just move from one thing to the next, everything is so urgent. But I can’t afford to take a break or slow down. I can’t keep doing this either. It feels like no matter what I choose, I’m bound to lose.”

The Fear of Slowing Down: How High Performers Resist Easing Their Pace

This client is one of many high performers I support who want to embrace a slower pace to recalibrate and pivot, yet struggle with the emotional and mental barriers that come with making the shift.

Since I launched Downshift six months ago, I’ve heard dozens of stories from men and women grappling with the pressure to maintain the fast pace and late nights that helped them achieve success, including wealth and influence. A part of them knows they need to slow down, but they’re afraid and stuck—unsure where to begin. Trapped in a cycle of constant activity, they’re driven by an internal narrative that equates slowing down with failure.

Many of those who I support intellectually recognize the toll their lifestyle takes on their health, relationships, and well-being, yet emotionally, they feel unprepared and powerless to shift gears, even for short periods. They fear that slowing down will mean losing momentum, their competitive edge, or even their sense of identity, while disappointing those who depend on them. The fear of the unknown, combined with deeply ingrained habits of overwork, creates powerful barriers to change.

A common misconception about downshifting is that it requires a complete reset of one’s life—a daunting prospect for high performers, especially founders, executives, and investors who are used to constantly pushing for growth and being in relentless pursuit of success.

For others, especially those without the financial safety net to fall back on, the idea of slowing down can feel even more overwhelming, as the pressure to maintain momentum feels tied directly to their livelihood and security.

Downshifting isn’t about making radical changes or halting everything at once; it’s about gradually creating small pockets of space—tiny, deliberate steps and rituals that, over time, lead to larger transformations. As I often say in our decelerator program, we’re planting seeds. We don’t know which will bloom, but we trust that some will.

This is where Downshift practices come in.

An Ecology of Downshift Practices

Downshift Practices are intentionally designed activities and rituals that cultivate awareness and presence with your thoughts, emotions, and sensations. By engaging in these practices, you foster a deeper connection with yourself, others, and your environment.

Equally important, these practices play a crucial role in physiological and emotional regulation. Many activate the ventral branch of the parasympathetic nervous system, calming both body and mind in response to stress and guiding us back to balance and well-being.

This gradual approach allows changes to take root naturally, avoiding the overwhelm that often comes with forced, rapid adjustments. While each small step may seem insignificant on its own, together they weave a rich tapestry of growth.

These practices make big changes possible. By integrating them, we build the conditions to recognize our desire for change, explore new paths, and take bold steps forward. In moments of stillness, we can pause and ask: What do I need right now? What am I avoiding? Where am I being called to slow down? What is my body telling me? These questions help uncover the deeper narratives driving our actions and open the door to new possibilities.

Without these reflective pauses, mental and emotional clutter can block the clarity needed for skillful action and meaningful change. Big life shifts—whether career transitions, shedding identities, or lifestyle transformations—require courage. Downshift Practices provide the foundation for this courage by building the resilience to face discomfort, uncertainty, and fear. It’s in the stillness that we begin to understand ourselves more deeply, and from that deeper understanding comes the strength to make difficult yet necessary choices. Without these practices, diving into major life changes can feel overwhelming or chaotic. But with them, we find the clarity and confidence to take intentional steps forward.

As part of the Downshift program, we guide participants in integrating these practices into daily life. By cultivating metacognition (the mind), interoception (the body), and heart opening (the heart), we create space for deeper self-awareness, insight, and growth. Each practice invites us to slow down and experience the full spectrum of what it means to be alive.

Metacognition (The Head)

Metacognition is the ability to observe and reflect on our own thinking processes—essentially cultivating a sense of “witness consciousness.” Practices that engage the mind in this way help us develop mental clarity and cognitive relaxation. Rather than forcing the mind to quiet, these practices allow us to step back and observe our thoughts without judgment. This detachment creates space from mental noise, fostering a deeper sense of calm and focus. By becoming more aware of our thought patterns, we can approach thinking with greater intention and presence.

Meditation: This practice involves focusing the mind and cultivating a state of relaxed awareness. Regular meditation enhances concentration, emotional stability, and overall mental well-being by fostering mindfulness and presence.
Journaling: Writing down thoughts, feelings, and experiences helps process emotions, clarify thoughts, and deepen self-awareness. It can also serve as a tool for reflection and personal growth.
Sitting in Quiet: Taking moments of stillness and silence provides mental rest and rejuvenation. It creates space for reflection, insight, and a greater sense of calm.
Digital Detox: Stepping away from our devices reduces sensory overload and overstimulation. A break allows the mind and body to relax, recharge, and restore focus.
Nature Immersion: Spending time in nature—whether hiking, walking, or simply sitting outdoors—can reduce stress, increase well-being, and foster a deeper connection to the natural world and a sense of belonging.
Focused Attention Training: This practice involves deliberately focusing on a single object, sound, or thought (such as breath or a candle flame), helping to build concentration and reduce distractions over time. It trains the brain to sustain attention, improving cognitive clarity.

Interoception (The Body)

Interoception is the ability to perceive and become aware of the internal state of our body—what is often referred to as "felt sense." By attuning ourselves to our bodily sensations, we begin to understand how our nervous system reacts to our emotions, environment, and overall well-being. These practices help us cultivate physical awareness and promote relaxation, while building the capacity to tolerate and process greater emotional and sensory experiences.

As a core element of the Downshift program, interoception encourages participants to ground themselves in the body, helping them sense and feel their way forward in life. By noticing where they encounter resistance and constriction versus where they feel open and expansive, they build an awareness that guides them through the world. These practices cultivate a deeper sense of embodiment and teach participants to use their senses to navigate life with more sensitivity and intention.

Yoga: Combining physical postures, breath control, and meditation, yoga promotes flexibility, strength, and relaxation, while also enhancing mind-body awareness.
Breathwork: Focus on nasal breathing and achieving the perfectly balanced breath, as described by James Nestor, with 5.5-second inhales and 5.5-second exhales. This practice helps regulate the nervous system and foster calm.
Body Scanning: This practice involves mentally scanning your body from head to toe, bringing attention to each part and noticing areas of tension or relaxation. It’s a way to connect with bodily sensations and increase physical awareness, often used in meditation or mindfulness exercises.
Tai Chi and Qigong: These ancient practices involve slow, deliberate movements paired with breathing exercises, designed to improve physical balance, strength, and the flow of internal energy.
Yoga Nidra: Also known as "yogic sleep," this guided relaxation technique brings about deep physical and mental rest, allowing the body to restore itself on a profound level.
Somatic Movement: These are gentle, mindful movements that encourage awareness of how the body feels as it moves. It’s not about exercise or fitness but about tuning into the sensations and subtle shifts within the body, which can enhance bodily awareness and ease tension.
Grounding: Pause and tune into the sensation of your feet on the ground, or the support of the chair, couch, or bed beneath you. Notice how it feels to be grounded and supported by your environment, connecting your awareness to the physical world.
Mindful Fitness: Downshifting doesn’t always mean going slow. Our co-facilitator, Tracy, loves mindfully swimming at a strong pace. Weightlifting, running, or any form of exercise can be part of Downshift, as long as you stay connected to your breath and sensations in your body.
Mindful Eating: Slow down and savor each bite. As taught by Tracy’s coach, pause to finish one bite before starting the next. This style of mindful eating allows you to experience the full flavors of food and invites a deeper connection to the present moment—and the pleasure of eating.

Heart Openers (Heart)

Heart Openers are practices that engage our emotional center, fostering connection, compassion, and gratitude. These practices are designed to nurture emotional well-being by creating space for kindness, love, and self-acceptance. By focusing on the heart, we cultivate deeper emotional awareness and the capacity to connect more authentically with ourselves and others. Through these practices, we open ourselves to vulnerability, healing, and a greater sense of inner peace.

Loving-Kindness Meditation: This meditation practice focuses on generating feelings of love and compassion towards oneself and others. It helps cultivate emotional resilience, empathy, and a deeper sense of connection.
Gratitude Practice: At the end of each day, reflecting on and journaling about things you’re grateful for helps cultivate a positive mindset and emotional well-being. This solo practice deepens your sense of appreciation for life’s gifts.
Gratitude Exchange: Sharing gratitude with a partner, where each person expresses appreciation for something meaningful, fosters deeper emotional intimacy and connection. This exchange can be profoundly heart-opening.
Self-Appreciation Journaling: At the end of each day, acknowledging your own achievements, strengths, and qualities through journaling fosters self-compassion and emotional well-being. It encourages you to recognize your worth and practice self-love.
Inner Child Holding: This practice involves imagining and comforting your inner child during moments of pain or emotional challenge. It is a powerful pathway toward self-love, healing, and emotional integration.
Eye-Gazing: In this practice, you silently gaze into the eyes of a loved one for two minutes, allowing any discomfort, love, or energy that arises to be held with awareness and lightness. It deepens emotional intimacy and connection.
Heart-Centered Breathing: Focus on breathing deeply into the heart space, visualizing the breath filling your chest with warmth and compassion. This practice opens the heart and promotes emotional healing and presence.

How to Begin: Start Small and Consistent

If you're like most of my clients–or like me–the urge might be to jump in and try everything at once! Slowing down? Bring it on! But, that's not the way to create lasting change. Instead, I recommend starting with just one or two practices and committing to them for 10 minutes a day for a week. It could be as simple as circular breathing, scheduling a yoga nidra session between meetings, or taking a mindful walk during a break. The key here isn’t to overwhelm yourself but to be consistent and intentional with these small steps. Here are a few more recommendations from the team:

Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that transformation doesn’t happen overnight. Lasting change is built gradually, over time. Don’t expect immediate results or dramatic shifts; instead, trust the process and stay committed. It’s important to honor your pace, especially when you’re learning to slow down.

Start Small: Begin with a single practice or a small group of practices that you can sustain for a week. When the week is done, pause and reflect—then recommit for another. These practices are like experiments—small, time-bound actions that allow you to build self-awareness and integrate new habits into your life gradually. Remember, it’s not about achievement; it’s about creating the space for deeper reflection and intentionality in your everyday life.

Embrace Patience: Often, high performers are conditioned to seek quick results, but downshifting requires a shift in this mindset. Be patient with yourself. Change takes time, and the benefits of these practices unfold as you remain consistent and give yourself space to grow.

Focus On The Experience: As you begin, focus not on mastering the technique but on noticing your experience. What emotions or sensations come up in these moments of stillness? What thoughts are you having? How do you feel afterward? The practice is in the noticing and awareness, not perfection.

Practice Self-Compassion: As you incorporate these new practices, there may be days where you fall short or struggle. That’s okay. Be gentle with yourself and recognize that downshifting is as much about self-compassion as it is about slowing down. The goal is to build a sustainable, meaningful relationship with these practices—not to criticize yourself when things don’t go perfectly.

Integrating Downshifting in Daily Life

The beauty of downshifting is that it can be tailored to fit the unique contours of your life. Whether you’re taking a moment to breathe deeply, engaging in a daily meditation, or committing to a weekly digital detox, the key is to find what resonates with you and make it a regular practice.

Here are some ways you might integrate more downshifting moments into your life:

Morning Ritual: Begin the day with a chosen Downshift practice to set a mindful tone. Whether it’s meditation, deep breathing, or journaling, the key is to start the day grounded and centered. This can help you approach the day with a sense of calm and clarity.

Scheduled Breaks: Integrate downshift practices during the day to maintain balance and focus. A walk, yoga nidra session, or even a few minutes of mindful breathing can help recalibrate your mental and emotional state, ensuring you stay centered amidst the day's demands.

Micro-Practices: Implement brief, one to two-minute practices when transitioning from one activity to another. This could be repeating a personal mantra, engaging in mindful listening, or taking a few deep breaths. These micro-practices help you regain composure and stay present amid chaos.

Trigger-Based Practices: Use specific triggers, such as feeling overwhelmed, to engage in quick downshift practices like focused breathing or sensory grounding. These practices can provide immediate relief and help you navigate stressful moments with greater ease.

Post-Work Ritual: Transition from work to personal time with a downshift practice that helps separate work-related stress from evening relaxation. This ritual can serve as a buffer, allowing you to leave work thoughts behind and fully engage with your personal life.

Pre-Bedtime Ritual: Wind down with a practice that prepares your body and mind for rest. This could be light stretching, reflective journaling, or quiet meditation, helping ensure a restful state before sleep.

Weekly Ritual: Incorporate a weekly ritual that allows for deeper introspection and rejuvenation. Choose a practice that best fits your lifestyle and needs, such as a digital detox, a nature hike, or an extended meditation session. This enhances your sense of presence and connection.

The point here is that you don’t have to commit to a full life overhaul to receive the benefits of slowing down. Everyone can Downshift—moment to moment, minute to minute, hour by hour, day to day, week to week, and over months and years.

Finding Supportive Communities

Another crucial aspect of integrating downshift practices into your life is finding people and communities that embody these values and can support and inspire you and share ideas. This can be as simple as creating a WhatsApp group with two friends where you share your daily commitments. Or, you could join a meditation group to experience the collective sense of slowing down with others.

Having companions on this journey introduces both accountability and co-regulation—where the physiological states of individuals can become synchronized. For example, when one person is calm and relaxed, their nervous system can help soothe someone feeling stressed, creating a mutual calming effect.

At Downshift, we thoughtfully design our retreats, coaching, and group experiences to cultivate these kinds of supportive, intentional communities. We understand the importance of slowing down with others, and we create spaces where individuals can connect, grow, and co-regulate together. We hear over and over from our Downshifters that having a community of fellow travelers is not just comforting—it's transformative. Sharing the journey enables our participants to gain insights and find reassurance in shared experiences, making each step forward more meaningful and supportive.

The Path to a Bigger Life

I’ll never forget the moment it hit me. I was standing on the corner of Broadway and Canal, watching the city speed by, when something inside me shifted. After years of relentless striving and angst, I realized I had been chasing a life that seemed big and important, but it wasn’t the way forward.

In that moment, I understood that the constant rush had constricted my life, robbing it of depth and meaning. Slowing down opened up something much bigger—a life of more presence, depth, and possibility. Now, I appreciate what I have with newfound clarity and see opportunities in the things I once overlooked or discarded in my pursuit of success and more.

This realization didn’t come easily. I’ve wrestled with my own tendencies to push, achieve, and grind through every challenge. There were moments when it felt like slowing down would cost me everything. But it was in slowing down that I began to see clearly. The lessons I share through Downshift aren’t theories—they come from my own struggle, my search for balance, my many experiments, and the wisdom I’ve gained from incredible teachers and colleagues.

Downshift isn’t about delivering some grand truth from a pedestal. It’s about real people—myself included—navigating the complexities of life, trying to find ways to be present, intentional, and connected in the midst of it all. I’ve been there, grappling with the fear of slowing down, and I’ve lived through the struggle of finding balance.

These practices are what helped me, but I invite you to test them for yourself. Examine them, live them, and see what resonates with you—not because I say so, but because you’ve experienced their impact in your own life.

If you want to learn more about Downshift and our upcoming fall cohort, please visit Downshift.me/decelerator. Applications are open until Monday, September 30th. We’d love to have you as part of our growing and intentional community.